The Joke That Screws With Us All
School | MO, USA(My friend has a phone case that screws on.) Friend: “The screws here have gone missing.” Me: “Well, then, I guess you’re ‘screwed.'” Friend: *clearly trying not to crack a smile* “Shut...
View ArticleProbably Is Probable
Car | Seattle, WA, USA(I’m hanging out with a coworker I’m friends with for the first time. She’s driving me, and has to stop for gas.) Friend: “I’ll roll down your window, so…” Me: “So I’m not dying?”...
View ArticleWalk A Mile In A Clown’s Shoes
Online | Atlanta, GA, USAMe: “Sometimes, I feel like I need to mug a clown to in order to find shoes that fit. On a completely unrelated note: [Friend #1], are you planning to come to Atlanta anytime...
View ArticleThey Scored Straight DN’A’s
Home | London, England, UK(A group of us are eating together. While none of us were born in China, we are all ethnically Chinese. Everything said at the table is in jest and we are by no means racist.)...
View ArticleHearing The Little Invoices In Your Head
Text/Chat/Email | The Netherlands(I’ve been struggling with some personal issues and as a result my studies aren’t going so well, so I make an appointment with the study advisor. Afterwards, I’m...
View ArticleIt’s Like You Mead My Mind
Party | Bloomfield, NJ, USA(I’m at a friend’s house for their New Year’s party. I’m pretty broke, but I felt I should have Christmas present for everyone, so I’ve brought along a dozen bottles of...
View ArticleYour Friend Is Way Out Of Disorder
Coffee Shop | Swindon, Wales, UK(I’m in recovery from a very serious eating disorder where I’ve not eaten more than 100 calories a day for months. Because I’m still curvy, people regularly don’t...
View ArticleThe Train Schedule For Neverland
(I have just come up with a new book idea and am telling my roommate about it. Note that she voluntarily edits my books.) Me: “So, I started writing down all the things I have to research for the book....
View ArticleThey’re Not Trolling You
Home | OR, USA(My twin sister has a friend who has Asperger’s. We all went through school together until he was put into a special program in high school and my sister lost touch with him. They’ve...
View ArticleTheir Love For You Is Going
Home | Estonia(We’re having a gathering with friends. As there are quite many of us here, there are several different conversations happening at once.) Friend #1: *stands up* “Well, it’s been nice...
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